This paper has a clever argument. Importantly, build in very plausible objections to your claims and then seek to respond to those objections. As noted throughout, the biggest weakness of the paper is the occasional lack of clarity. I suspect that a lot of this has to do with the difficulties of writing in a second language. Therefore there are also have some grammar problem. Also, as noted, the opening needs to be more clear. Finally, can add some story to make the point more clear.